Isn't it strange how every conversation goes exactly how it needs to?  Even when you have no idea at the beginning where that will be?  I guess if you don't think that is strange, you might be practicing zen.  Or maybe not.  There are, after all, many ways to eat that piece of cake. 

Last night was the final community night for WiG.  I had 8 people tell me that they would not be able to make it, so I was not expecting a large turnout.  The turnout turned out to be exactly the right size for an exacting Zen experiment. 

After we sat, I mentioned a koan on which I was recently working.  One that, to me, begged the question of whether you could truly be given a gift, or a thing, especially a teaching, or if that notion was naught but a pretty dream.  We rang the bell and asked everyone to spend a minute considering a gift they have received.  To notice how it felt to receive it, to hold it.  How it made them feel in relationship to the giver. 

People responded that the gift they thought they were receiving, was not at all what they expected.  Another pointed out that it was hard actually, to think of a receiving of a gift, and not of giving.  Another person thought of his gift as advice from his mother, that she never knew would affect him so greatly and which would not bear fruit for many many years after received.  Another person mentioned a new job and feelings of gratitude mixed with responsibility to receive the gift well. 

We sat again, this time passing the Kesu around.  As it reached each person, they were asked give a gift to someone.  It could be a friend, a lover, a family member, someone they didn't know, even themselves.  But give a gift, knowing that that person would never know it was given, and see how it felt to give when taking the effect out of the equation- then ring the bell. 

People noticed how more sincere the gift was when they were not waiting for the receiver to feel a way they noticed they had been telling themselves the receiver should feel.  One person noticed that she felt she always gave a gift that was slightly off, but in this format, didn't feel that way at all.  Another gave the gift to his friend of feeling his pain.  Not giving comfort or advice, just hurting with him.  Being present.  And we all looked at that idea.  That a true gift was just that, being present.  It made everything genuine and real and it gave the best gift, the gift of what is, of us. 

Happy Holidays all, and Happy New Year.

"If you are scorned by others and are about to drop into hell because of evil karma from your previous life, then because you are scorned by others, the evil karma of your previous life will be extinguished."

We sat last night with this koan.  Prior to our sitting, one of the sangha members of WiG told me "I almost didn't come tonight because of this koan."  That's how you know its going to be a fun evening. 

After we sat, walked and had tea, we experimented with this koan, and in making it personal. 

The group was asked to take a moment and find someone in their hearts that they scorned, disdained, disliked and looked down on.  It could be a person, a group, a party, a business.  When everyone one had located that, the new time keeper (Thanks Toby), rang the bell, and the group was asked to scorn them, and in their scorning to notice the subtleties of the action, to notice how it made them feel, what was at the source.  They were asked to notice what was driving the scorn and what it dreamed to accomplish.  Afterwards we all went around and shared what we had noticed.

People noticed that they had trouble scorning.  That though they knew that they scorned and treated people with opprobrium and disdain, that when invited to let them have it, they found themselves conditioned to stop doing it, thus it only happened in the background.  Others noticed how it made them feel powerful and held the other party at a distance, mitigating fear that they would be harmed.  Others noticed how they piled on, and drew from other quarters for support in their scorning. 


After we had gone around, we sat again, briefly, this time holding a time or an instance when were were scorned, whether by a lover, a friend, a family member, a group, or any other source.  We were asked to locate that scorn and where its energy came from.  Where the fear was, and where the pain was, and then just notice what happened when we invited that in and let it be ok.  One person noted that he initially didn't think he was scorned and then realized how maybe he was pushing away acknowledging the scorning. 

People noticed that when they secretly believed, or didn't want to believe, that the scorn was well deserved, they got defensive, sad, or crushed.  When they felt the scorn was misapplied, it rolled right off and did not affect them in a personal way.  People noticed that they felt badly for the scorner.  Others noticed becoming defensive, and wanting to answer the silent charges.  Another noticed how mad he got and then realized how strange that was that he held onto this need to be seen a perfect, flawless and without detractors.  He wondered where that notion had come from.

It was a lively conversation.  We will continue it next week. 

We had a great conversation last night.  It was a pleasure to welcome back Chris Wilson from his convalescence.

We worked again with "Thank you, I have no complaints whatsoever".  There was discussion and a lecture on its tranformative properties. 

Next week we will return to the koan short course work with this koan.  Sit with it this week, and just notice how it works on you, how it transforms you:

"If you are scorned by others and are about to drop into hell because of evil karma from your previous life, then because you are scorned by others, the evil karma of your previous life will be extinguished."